How To Learn To Listen More Effectively

　　 Three levels of "listening"

Level 1: at this level, listeners do not pay enough attention to what the speaker says, but pretend to be listening to other unrelated matters, or to think about refutation. What he is more interested in is not listening, but rather speaking. Listening at this level leads to the breakdown of relationships, the emergence of conflicts and the formulation of bad decisions.

Level two: the key to the realization of interpersonal communication is the understanding of the meaning of words. On the second level, listeners mainly listen to the words and contents, but often miss the speaker's intonation, body posture, gesture, facial expression and eye expression. This will lead to misunderstanding, erroneous behavior, waste of time and neglect of negative emotions. In addition, because the listener expresses his listening by nodding consent instead of asking for clarification, the speaker may be mistaken for what he said is fully understood.

Level three: people at this level show the characteristics of an excellent listener. This listener searches for interested parts in the speaker's message, which they consider to be an opportunity to acquire new and useful information. Efficient listeners should be clear about their personal preferences and attitudes, so that they can better avoid making arbitrary judgments or stimulated verbal influence on the speaker. Good listeners do not rush to make judgments, but feel the feelings of others. They can look at things in their own way, and ask questions rather than justify them.

　　 Learn to listen at a high level.

According to statistics, about 80% of people can only listen to level one and level two, and only 20% of them can listen to level three. How to achieve a high level of listening? Here are some ways to learn high-level listening: concentration: through nonverbal behaviors, such as Eye Contact, a relaxed posture, some friendly facial expression and pleasant intonation, you will create a positive atmosphere. If you are attentive, attentive and relaxed, your partner will feel valued and safer.

Show the needs of the other person. Interest You can listen to each other with understanding and mutual respect in order to show interest in the needs of the other person.

A caring attitude Listen for It's like a chord that allows speakers to test your opinions and feelings, and feel that you are appearing in a non judgmental and non judgmental manner. Don't ask a lot of questions right away. Continuous questioning often gives people the impression that listeners are being "roasted". Act like a mirror: feedback what you think the other person was thinking about. Summarize the speaker's content to confirm that you fully understand what he said.

Avoid preoccupation: this happens when you invest with your own attitude. Putting your personal attitude into a problem often leads to feelings of anger and injury, or makes you too early to conclude and appear arbitrary.

Use spoken language: use simple sentences, such as "Er", "Oh", "I understand", "yes" or "interesting" to identify with each other's statements. We encourage speakers to talk more about them by saying "listen to", "we discuss and discuss", "I want to hear your thoughts" or "I am very interested in what you are saying".